So Much For That Idea...

Ummm, Boss...I Think I'm Gonna Be Late For Work Today...

Hey, This Looks Familiar!

Sympathy From The Devil

Dude, Where's My Club?

Ahhh...The Good Life

A True Martyr!

It's A Dirty Job, But Somebody Has To Do It!

Too Young To Understand?

What Were They Thinking?

This Could Be You....

Ice Breaker....

Nice Try...

I Guess I'm Gonna Have To Supersize It!

Stairway To Heaven

True

Jaws 2005

Cage goes in the water, you go in the water. Shark's in the water. Our shark.

Farewell and adieu to you, fair Spanish ladies. Farewell and adieu, you ladies of Spain. For we've received orders for to sail back to Boston. And so nevermore shall we see you again.

F*ckn A

From the what not to wear department

Oh my!

World's Best Belly Button Tattoo

Home Alone 2005

Moving to Sydney

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.

He asks, "What are you doing?"

She answers, "I'm moving to Sydney. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free."

Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.

When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming too, I want to see how you live on $800 a year".

Honey, I'm Home

Attention Tower, We Have A Crack In One Of Our Windows...

Cool!

Class of 1980...Where Are They Now?

Etiquette

During a good manners and etiquette class, the teacher says to
her students: "If you were courting a well educated young girl
from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed
to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?"

Mike replies "Wait a minute, I've got to take a piss."

The teacher says: "That would be very rude and improper on your
part."

Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be
back in a minute."

The teacher says: "That's much better but to mention the word
''toilet'' during a meal, is unpleasant."

And Kiel says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have
to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope, to be
able to introduce to you after dinner. "

The teacher passed out.

Darn!

Next Time Send An Email

Hope It's Not Contagious

World's Newest Profession

No Shit, Sherlock!

Hot Dog

My Name Is Frank, And I'm A Computer Addict

They Charge Extra For That...

The Last Honest Male

Fish Tale

Shark Attack

A Big Hello From Vagina Face

Wardrobe Malfunction Re-Visited

Transferable Skills

A father walks into a book store with his young son. The boy is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the book store. Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?"

"No," the woman replied. "Divorce attorney".

Drew Barrymore Pre-Breast Reduction?

"Your Cheatin Heart"

Anyone Seen Mike Froland?

Poor Scott Kelly......

Bummer

California 1850

Do you know what happened back in 1850? California became a state.

The state had no electricity
The state had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gunfights in the streets.

So basically, it was just like California today, except the women had real tits.

Can I get one at Sharper Image?

No Explanation Needed

Ummmmmm, OK!

Auntie Em, its a twister!!!